Monday, August 18, 2008

A Bittersweet Downfall



How will I start it? Well I can't remember when I started to know this thing called-LOVE. Though it was hard to tell exactly where it began and I don't even know if this feeling will still come to an end. All I can remember is that I just felt it and mine was a bittersweet experience. I've shared the tears of happiness and sorrow. I've got the taste of the best and worst things the world has to offer. I've been tormented and besieged. I've been haunted by the pain, and I've been through the anguish of being ditched.

The story goes this way, as far as I can remember…
Love- it struck me when I was in college.
He was my first love and he was the best thing that ever happened to me.
But I guess it was never meant to be… because fate didn't allow us to go that far. I must say we been there but when everything was seemed perfect, suddenly it was all vanished. It's as if I've awakened from a wonderful reverie and out of the blue became an unbearable nightmare.

I've just got my heart broken many times and courtesy of only one person. I could not blame him, nor hate him that much, but I couldn't tell to myself that I understand him. He had hurt me so much in the past and I've cried enough. What I've learned was just a heartache which I still can't get over with but I managed to live through…
I kept on telling to myself that I can actually wait even forever just to be with him, wherever this feeling would take me and no matter what heartaches it would cause me. I love him, and I love him, and I love him; that's the reason of my heart in its every beat. That's what my wholeness shouts for.
If I happen to know what love is, its all because of him. And I don't want him to be totally out of my life. Friendship is, I think, the safest thing to offer. The friendship that we had will always be there and I will always be there.

Love is forever, of that I am certain. If I'd started to know what love is, it's all because of him and I will fell in love again, again, and then again – I must. There is no point in living without that. Love is the only truth that still and will always remain…

These are the things that I can never let other people to catch sight of.

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