Saturday, August 16, 2008

How Do You Talk To Yourself?



Have you ever stopped and taken notice as to how you speak to yourself? This type of inner dialog is extremely difficult to pick up on and it is a very important factor in how you live your life. What you tell yourself directly impacts the way your existence unfolds. Becoming aware of this "self conversation" is the first step into gaining control back over it and thus creating the opportunity to produce lasting improvement in your everyday life. Let's take this moment to familiarize ourselves with what this is all about:

Examples
Does this sound like you:
"I hate my hair today"
"I wish I didn't have this nose"
"These clothes just don't fit me the way I wish they did"
"I can't seem to be doing this task"
"I don't have what it takes to make this happen"
etc.
These are just examples of the thousands of phrases people repeat to themselves day in and day out. Are you at all surprised to know afterwards that these same people aren't particularly happy and don't seem to be living to their full potential? Definitely not! Repeating such comments to yourself takes its toll. We don't even realize it but we speak to ourselves constantly. We give back comments to ourselves constantly, multiple times every minute. For example, there are some of you who will read this and say to themselves: "I can't read this whole article, it's too long" or "I don't understand this mambo jambo!" and more preferably "This makes alot of sense, I like this article!" Hopefully it's the latter, because this is a very important habit to become aware of. These thousands of daily comments add up to millions of comments over the years. What you say to yourself affects the outcome of your life.

Perception creates your reality
The way you speak to yourself is your perception of yourself. It is not necessarily the reality of it though. For example, a person suffering from anorexia thinks they are fat, when in fact, it's the total opposite. This holds true as well with the way you speak to yourself on a daily basis about the simplest little things that are happening in your life. If you tell yourself that you are not good enough or not pretty enough, your perception of yourself will be just that. This, then creates your reality. There are billions of different realities going on, because there are billions of different perceptions. What you need to worry about is YOUR perception and your reality. For example, some people may like this blog, some may not. If I were to tell myself that what I am writing is garbage, then I would abandon this blog and fail. However, if I tell myself that I am doing a good job that people will benefit from this blog, then I have created the right perception to ensure success. Remember, your perception is King. Who cares if some people think you are not good enough or not intelligent enough or not attractive enough. We can't control their perceptions, but what we do have control over is ours…which is the most important perception to worry about, because this is the one that shapes our reality. Once you understand this concept, you suddenly realize the following: "hey, if what I perceive shapes my life, then I can just change my perception and thus change my life!" Bingo, once you get this, you're on your way.

The subtlety of it
The way you speak to yourself is very subtle. It's like a reflex that you don't even think about, like breathing. So many of the patterns in which you speak to yourself are deeply encrusted into your psyche, because this is the way you've been speaking to yourself over a lifetime. As mentioned earlier, once you realize that you can simply change your perception of yourself and thus change your reality, you have begun the process of shedding some light onto this subtle self dialog. You see, in basic terms, the way you speak to yourself is the way you see yourself, and that is your perception of yourself. So you can literally alter the way you speak to yourself and this will in fact transform your reality. The most successful people in the world all have positive self dialog. It is a necessity to ensure that you live to your fullest potential. So how can you start having this crucial positive self dialog?

Recognizing the current dialog
Become aware of what you are telling yourself right now. When you look in the mirror, become aware of what you are thinking. What are you telling yourself? Is it mostly negative in nature? How about when you are doing work or a task? Are you reminding yourself that you are doing great, or are you belittling your abilities? Once you start recognizing your inner dialog, it becomes addictive. You will notice it more and more, and if you've ever had questions about how your life is going, assess what you are telling yourself and if it needs certain adjustments. Usually, most people have really good inner dialog for certain things, and very bad ones for others. What you want to do is recognize the habit of the negative ones so that you can prepare to alter it.

Changing the habit
When you become aware of the negative talking within yourself, think of the word STOP in big red letters! Break your pattern. Find something constructive and positive to replace it with. For example, your thinking:"Oh my hair looks….STOP!….hmm, I think I have a good idea of what to do with my hair" or "I can't seem to solve this…STOP!…wait, there is a solution, I will find it, no matter what". Just like recognizing the habit, changing the habit become addictive. For one, you will notice that you are opening yourself doors that you used to shut in your face all the time. These new doors mean new opportunities, and new opportunities lead to a much higher chance of reaching your goals and succeeding. I remember when I first started as an entrepreneur, alot of doors were seemingly being shut in my face. Whether it was for funding from banks or via a bad experience in a particular venture, the opportunity was there for me to talk down to myself and have very negative self talk. However, I wouldn't let that happen. I always had a mentality of finding answers no matter what…I don't give up, and I always look at the silver lining or the lesson to be taken from whatever seems negative. I changed my perception of these events and in looking back, I view them as lessons and even positive in certain cases due to what I learned from it. Changing your inner dialog to always include constant positive reinforcement will not only exponentially increase your level of success, it will also change the quality of your life. Why choose to stay negative and miserable when the choice is right there for you to transform it into a happier, more positive existence?

Gaining control back over the way you talk to yourself is of a tremendous importance. Changing your perception and redirecting your inner dialog to include nothing but motivation and healthy comments can alter your life in ways you never thought possible. Remember to recognize it, break the pattern (STOP!), and replace it with something that you can benefit from. This process is very subtle and many of you probably never even noticed your own self dialog, but know that you have the ability to change this into a dialog that will bring you to new heights and in the least, make life more enjoyable and happier in general. Would love to hear about certain thought patterns that you were able to break, so keep your comments coming

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